Thursday, December 31, 2015

What to Do....

"So, how was the date? It was the 2nd times, right?"
"Uh hm. And exactly like the 1st one."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't feel anything special."
"Did you guys not talking to each other or what?"
"We watched movie. Then had a nice conversation over dinner. Laughed a lot. Discussed everything."
"But I am missing something. And I guess he felt the same way I did."
"Girl, I know what your problem is."
"You were expecting too much."


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


What do I do? What do I look for? How do I feel now?

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Ayem lan Tentrem

Yesterday we went to a painting exhibition. Parked the car in the mall and walked about 3 km to the venue, his simple gestures amazed me. First he held my hand when crossing the streets. He waited patiently when I need to greet many people. On our way back to the parking lot, my hand was in his, all the time. It felt nice.  

Tuesday, December 22, 2015


And it feels like 10 years ago. My heart jumped on the floor whenever I saw your name popped up.

Sunday, December 20, 2015


You're Still You

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolized just you

I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you

You walk pass me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all
You're still you

I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you
And what life put you through

And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all
You're still you

(Josh Groban)

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Simple Happiness

Tiba2 kok kangen sama anak lanang, yg hari ini seru ke sekolah. Kok seru? "Hari ini nggak ada pelajaran. Asyik. Cuma ada pemeriksaan gigi."

Ya ampun nak... kok semangat ke sekolah waktu nggak ada pelajaran. Hahahaha...

Memang kita bisa belajar banyak banget dr anak2 ya. Termasuk tentang kebahagiaan kecil yang seringkali tidak kita pikirkan "sampai segitunya."

Kemarin dulu dia seneng banget waktu menemukan mobil kami bisa jadi gajah. Pas di parkiran Aeon Mall, trus dia bilang, "Ibu, buka pintu mobil. Yg lebar ya. Trus tunggu sebentar ya. Tunggu aba2 aku."

Gue pikir dia mau apaaaa.... Krn hbs ngomong gitu dia juga buka pintu mobil trus keluar menjauh. Jd kondisi pintu depan terbuka dua2nya, lampu dashboard menyala, dia lihat dari sisi depan, agak jauh.

"Lucuuuuu banget, si kentang jadi kayak Dumbo!"

And he was so happy. Smiling ear to ear. Contagious happiness which instantly drove up my mood the whole day. Thank you, Nak.... I love you so much, with my heart and soul. 

Monday, December 14, 2015


Rainy days.

And you.

But now when rainy days are here
I feel so blue ‘cause I can’t hear
All your laughter

In the falling rain
And it brings sadness to my heart
Knowing that you’ve gone from my side....

(Phil Perry)

Thursday, December 10, 2015

I Tried, At Least

So I went on a date.

He is cute and tall. He is fun to be with, smart & witty as well. Know him for a while, and we went out for lunch several time (with bunch of other people). Only God knew the reason he called couple days ago, and we decided to go out on a date, last Wednesday. And we started as early as 6.30 am. Hahaha...

He waited patiently when I need to finish my swimming routine, then accompanied me for (a very long and laid back) breakfast. He then did his work while waiting for my meeting to be done. We met again for lunch, and my family came unplanned. So we have lunch together. He met my son, my mom, my big bro. They got along well, I may say.

Since Aria needed to get home soon to study for his exam the next day, we left right after lunch time was over. So the official date was considered to be postponed, since we only did half day instead of a full day as planned.

And that was it.

Did I have fun? Yes.

Was he good? Yes. We laughed a lot.

But we didn't have THAT click. And I believe he felt it too.

Should I give it a chance? Somehow my heart says no. And I think I'll listen.

Friday, December 04, 2015

Limited Communication

My cellphone was suddenly black out yesterday. Asked the concierge to have it checked, turned out it was completely broken. And since I am in marathon meeting, away from home, there is no time to go out and buy a new one. Glad that I still have my laptop, so in the meantime, the communication with my team in the office is via FB messenger.

Surprisingly, I enjoy 2nd day of having no cellphone. No bing, no cling, whatsoever. So quiet and tranquil. So I can hear the sound of nature around me.

Thursday, December 03, 2015


Maybe it is time for me to create one email address somewhere... so I can stop sending you my nonsense and send it to that email instead. Afraid that if I continue to email you everyday... ah well... I enjoy reading your reply too.



Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Crossing Path

Karena tidak pernah hidup sendiri, tentunya kita akan bersinggungan dengan orang lain selama menjalani hidup. Alangkah sepinya kalau kita sendirian saja.

Orang datang dan pergi dalam hidup kita. Ada yg lama, ada yg sebentar. Ketika bertemu soulmate, tentu akan selamanya bersama.

Ada yg bilang, jika seseorang pergi dari hidup kita, artinya "tugas" orang tsb dalam hidup kita sudah usai. Mungkin benar juga. Krn toh tidak ada yg kebetulan di dunia ini. Semua sdh diatur. Pasti ada yg mengatur kita akan ketemu siapa nanti dan besok. Apa yg akan terjadi setelah pertemuan itu? Sudah ada skenarionya.

Jadi kalau ada yg datang, sambutlah. Biarkan dia melakukan tugasnya. Apakah mendewasakanmu atau membuatmu sedih, ya sudahlah. Terima saja. Itu memang tugasnya. Ketika dia selesai bertugas, dia akan pergi darimu.

I hope I did my part well when crossing someone else's path. I really hope.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015


Sungguh sulit buat menerima bahwa ada orang2 yg kita sayang, yg "tugasnya" selesai. Artinya dia nggak akan ada lagi dalam hidup kita.

Sulit. Sulit banget.

Tapi harus ikhlas. Harus membiarkan mereka pergi. Karena mereka akan tetap pergi. Seberapa pun kita ingin mereka tetap tinggal.